At the end of last week while pondering whether I had had a successful holiday and coming to grips with the loss of colleagues, I was reminded of something that Rev Rowland Croucher shared with me a few years ago. He came up with a list of ten things to describe what “successful” looks like:
- Slow down – and adopt more realistic expectations of yourself and others. Most of us seem to be suffereing from “hurry sickness” while grief takes time and pausing to ponder is not a waste.
- Umpire – we all need somebody to be our personal coach or mentor who we trust aned can share our grief and talk about how we feel, who will also keep us on track.
- Cognitive restructuring – we CAN change the way we think and react to situations, but it will require work, adopting new attitudes and expressing feelings without allowing them to dominate.
- Consistent Input – make sure that you are getting good input which is greater than our output, and try to learn something new every day.
- Eat and Exercise healthily – look after your body, it is the only one you have!
- Self knowledge – know your gifts and abilities as well as your limitations and be honest about them, yes I still feel sad about the loss of my friends.
- Sabbath – make sure you have at least one day off per week and find the proper balance between work and rest.
- Fun – remember fyou were made to enjoy life, not just endure it, so don’t take it so seriously, lighten up and have a good laugh.
- Understand where you are and where you are going – clarify your goals and get excited about your big dreams.
- Love and accept love – because we all need relationships, a place where we are accepted and belong.
Well, I’m not sure what a successful vacation looks like, but that is something of what I have learnt over the last couple of weeks. May this week be a successful one for you too!
Chaplain Ian S Whitley