Southland Christian Ministry Training
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By Ian, on November 29th, 2011%
As I look back over almost 40 years of my working life and ponder the lessons I have learnt, there are many things that I wish somebody had told me. Granted, I may not have been able to hear what they were saying, but if I had concentrated more on ‘being’ than just ‘doing’ who knows what else I may have been able to achieve! Here are seven helpful hints on how to be more:
1. Be loveable! Do you like yourself? If you don’t like what you see in the mirror, do something about changing it. The fact is your own poor self image has the capacity to limit your success, and if you don’t like yourself how do you expect your boss, colleagues and friends to like you? So, if you want a better future, start by adjusting your attitude to yourself.
2. Be loving! If you like yourself then you are in a position to like others! But you still have to choose to not be judgmental, to accept them as they are and not see them as tools to be manipulated. Being loving will involve offering kindness and being considerate of their circumstances.
3. Be positive! You might be naturally pessimistic, but you can learn to be optimistic because it is all in your mind. Choose to smile, and get enthusiastic about life and other people will want to work with you. Relationships always grow quicker in a positive environment.
4. Be forgiving! Unforgiveness, like acid will always eat away at the vessel in which it is stored, so get rid of it! The longer you harbour it the more it will stop you achieving your full potential.
5. Be responsible! You cannot blame anybody else for the mess you are in, so the sooner you take responsibility for your life, the quicker you can get to where you want to be. Openness and honesty about your own limitations and bad decisions in the past is the first step towards making a better future.
6. Be teachable! Always be ready to learn new things about yourself and those around you, new skills and new ways to look at things. None of us know it all, so the sooner you can admit it the better. Life is a continual learning experience.
7. Be at peace! You can BE all these IF you get your body, mind and spirit ‘in sync’. There are plenty of self help books out there telling you what you have to do, yet not many will give you the secret of inner peace, which comes from knowing why you were created and what God expects of you.
Don’t just drift through life, doing what everybody else is doing, seek to be more.
Chaplain Ian S Whitley
By Ian, on November 4th, 2011%
Recently I shared the fact that one of my roles is Life Coaching, the trouble is all those great questions will do you no good if you fail to act and follow through on those resolutions. The fact is we live life by making choices and a heap of good intentions will change nothing! It seems to me that to find happiness, to be productive and achieve the goals you set in life, you need to make the right choices. We can all look back on times when we blew it, but as George Eliot said:
“It is never too late to be what you might have become.”
The older I get the more convinced I am that even though I have no control of some of the things that happen to me I still have choices like:
- I can choose to smile! It costs you nothing and it is a priceless gift you can give to everyone you meet today. As you smile, look those people in the eye, really connect with them and it will make both you and them feel better.
- I can choose to be optimistic! Somewhere I read that there have never been a monument to a pessimist, because they never achieve anything, they just kill other people’s dreams. Decide to look on the positive today.
- I can choose to be balanced! A life that is out of balance is unstable and often destructive, so take some steps to fix things. It may be in the physical, mental, relational or spiritual realm. Address that wobble before it puts you out of action.
- I can choose to be compassionate! What act of kindness can I do for those around me, to show that I really care? The item that has come up a couple of times this week is that it is as simple as making a phone call to your mother!
 I can choose to forgive! Holding onto that grudge will only hurt me in the long term. Somebody has said unforgiveness is like acid, it will attack the vessel in which it is stored, so get rid of it!- I can choose to be thankful! Are you grateful for all the things that you have? Take time today to express your thanks to those who are close to you, show that you appreciate them!
- I can choose to be enthusiastic! Life is meant to be lived with gusto, so get excited about it! The origin of this term comes from the Greek “En Theos” which literally means “In God”. So if you need help to get enthusiastic about you life, then maybe you need to get connected with God!
Who and where we are today is the result of choices we made yesterday. You cannot change the past, but you can change the choices you are making today.
Chaplain Ian S Whitley
By Ian, on May 21st, 2011%
 In dealing with people one of the popular issues lately is anger. They may be angry with the military for how they have been treated, angry with the boss for work issues, angry with colleagues for being neglected or angry with God for allowing certain things to happen. The fact is we have all been angry, it is part of being human, but the reality is that some of us manage it better than others. There is nothing inherently wrong with being angry, in fact the scriptures tell us that even Jesus was angry, and anger is the right and appropriate response to injustice and things that are wrong. However, anger is also a powerful emotion which stimulates a whole range of physical, mental and behavioural responses which can very quickly get out of hand. So what can we do to handle it better? Here are five simple things you can try:
1. Acknowledge it! Admit that what you are feeling is anger, and consciously stop yourself from doing what comes naturally. Slow down, back off and give yourself time to consider the consequences of allowing your emotions to dictate your actions. For some people that mean go for a walk, raise a sweat in the gym to deal with excess energy before sitting down to,
2. Name it! Why are you angry? Who is that anger directed at? Sadly all too often angry outbursts are dumped on innocent bystanders. I have seen all too many cases where work issues have not been addressed in the appropriate forum, self medication with alcohol becomes preferred option and then they wonder why a fights break out at the boozer or a domestic violence at home! If you name it honestly, then you need to
3. Get help! Talk to the right people, so that you can deal with the real issues and not just the superficial problems. Within the military context I have noticed that it is much easier to deal with alcohol dependency than the real issue of anger management or unfair treatment. If you have a trusted friend, that is a great place to start or you can talk to the chaplain, medical, or get a referral to Psychologist. Then you may be in a place where you can,
4. Express how you feel! Go to the person who you feel is central and explain how you feel without trying to blame them for your problems. Accept responsibility for how you feel and seek to clarify the facts. All too often the issue is about poor communication and perceptions rather than injustice or a desire to hurt! The final step,
5. Respond constructively! Seek to find a positive outcome, a creative response that allows both parties to save face. There may be a need to ask forgiveness or offer it. If you realise that your anger has been destructive to others around you be prepared to confess it. Most people do not want nice words what they want to see is a positive change in behaviour. Your promises need to be backed up with action.
Gary Chapman in his book called “The Other Side Of Love” summarises all that in just one sentence:
“Anger’s purpose is to motivate us to positive, loving action that will leave things better than when we found them.”
Or as Aristotle put it
“Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way… that is not easy.”
For some people that will require a miracle, but you are in luck, part of my job is to introduce you to the one who can work miracles and help you deal with your anger, though it might take a bit of time.
Chaplain Ian S Whitley
By Ian, on February 28th, 2011%
 Today I was reminded of how much I rely on my photocopier. The one in the Chaplain’s centre is normally so reliable that I don’t even think about it but over the last few days there have been an increasing number of paper jams, mis-feeds and frustrating delays that has got at me! Yet, when I paused to think about it, I was reminded that they haven’t really been around all that long. I can remember the first one I operated, and had to justify its use since the cost was so high! At that time I was operating a monster duplicator, wax sheets, messy ink drums and a minimum print run of about 50! Before that it was a strange machine that you had to feed copious amounts of methylated spirits to get even a very poor copy! I am even old enough to remember doing multiple copies on a typewriter, with carbon paper…so what?
All of us here at RAAF Wagga are in the business of duplication. When we work with recruits, trainees and subordinates, our role is to teach them to be like us, to reproduce ourselves so that they adopt our practices, our values and our skills. Do we do that just in the classroom setting? NO! So much of what we teach is through our example, how we react to situations, and even how we behave in our free time both on and off the base. Take a moment to reflect…how good a duplicator are you? Is that what you want?
Some of my experiences this week have highlighted the fact that we sometimes expect a higher standard of others than we expect of ourselves, yet such a system is doomed to fail because no matter how we discipline people or force them in a particular direction, they seem to continue to become like their role models – for better or for worse!
The problem is not the photocopi er – but US! If the original is faulty we can’t blame the copy! But if you get the original right you will get right copies. So instead of pointing the finger at others get your own act together. Without pushing the metaphor too far, the answer is not to blame the weather, the paper, or another operator but to get the serviceman out to give it a service! In human terms the manufacturer is God Himself, so take the time go get to know Him.
Chaplain Ian S Whitley
By Ian, on January 23rd, 2011%
The New Year has started already! Though for me it has been a fairly slow start, taking things very easy while recovering from major surgery just before Christmas. Not quite the way I would like to have planned it yet it has given me the opportunity to simply rest, stand back and reassess my life. Having more years behind me than in front of me is a sobering thought, and as I pondered this I was more convinced than ever that I want this year to count! After much deliberation I have decided that this year I want to concentrate on just four things:
- People! As I look back over the past year there have been all too many times when I have allowed things to become more important than people and relationships.
- Perspective! To make people more important than things I will need to constantly reassess my priorities, making sure that the urgent does not squeeze out the important.
- Passion! I refuse to just drift through life, rather I will choose to be passionate about who I am and where I am going, living life to the full.
- Patience! As my father used to say “Rome wasn’t built in a day” so I need to accept the fact that this will take time and perseverance, but it will be worth it.
Who knows what 2011 will hold for any of us, but I choose to live it intentionally, believing that God is in control and will guide me as I seek to put people first, readjust my priorities, live with passion and patiently accept the challenges that come my way. That is about as much as I can cope with today, conquering evil and establishing world peace may have to wait till next year… NO! That is God’s job not mine!
Chaplain Ian Whitley
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